Temple covenants and amazon packages: a lesson in patience

I went to the temple today to do some work, which should have been a cool experience. I have somewhat found a way to streamline the entire process though so I can get in and out (and on to the rest of my day). “All blessings and glory be upon you for the new eternal covenants you’ve made, that’s great, now hurry up why isn’t my package from Amazon here yet.” [just to be clear, that’s not an actual prayer anywhere] This is in all honesty how my day went today.

Back up a bit, though, and there’s more context to this whole thing. Lest it seem like my spiritual experience may have been completely dwarfed by rampant consumerism, let me put that to the rest by saying it almost was by adding a few more examples of it getting wrecked. I blame Amazon. And the mall. And the bookstore. And then me … in that order.

First of all, I’m really into multimedia. I’m one of those people who when they go to the store and buy a DVD or a Blu-ray, that I inspect in my mind where I’m going to store it at home, and how I like the cover compared to the eight t-shirts I have of the same series. It’s a big deal for me. I’d been debating getting a Blu-ray drive for my laptop on and off for a few weeks, and have had a hard time making a decision. For some people, they worry about whether to have a kid or where to go on vacation. For me, it’s whether I want another piece of hardware. Very important.

I finally decided to go ahead and get one, and through the magic of the Internet and by the power of selfishness, I saw that Amazon had one that they’d do one-day delivery on. It was about 2 in the morning, and the only thing standing in the way between me and my precious was that I had to find the right size in millimeters of my current laptop drive so I could choose the right replacement. It’s moments of these I like to call “rage googling.” As in, the anger that is generated because I have to do some research before getting what I want (Never mind the fact that once you order something online, you’re immediately waiting .. I try to not think about things like that).

After about three minutes of searching online for the answer — which is a liberal amount in my case — I decided that I was now the expert on all things optical-drive-sized and I chose one and went with that. After all, if it was the wrong one, I could always *return* it right? Who cares about an even longer wait (I try not to think about that either), all that matters is I get to add to cart and click that shiny little purchase button. I decided I wasn’t still completely sure and I just left it in my cart.

Fortunately for me, I got distracted by something else equally cool in the multimedia world (old time radio, if you’re curious), and focused on that for about thirty minutes, before I remembered that I hadn’t actually placed my purchase. I humbly decided that perhaps I wasn’t the king of all things millimeters sized, and so I grabbed a tape measure and did my best to see if I could figure out what the actual dimensions of this thing was. After about three more minutes of trying to figure this out — which again, is a an unusual of patience in my realm — I finally got the answer because it happened to be the same size as an extra laptop drive I had lying around. Good thing I took the extra time, as well, because I had previously assumed the wrong size, and would have gotten the wrong thing! That would have been tragic to the now serious amount of traction my quick-purchase lifestyle had going for it. I got it figured out, placed the order, and smiled at the whole “guaranteed delivery date” would by by 9 p.m. that same day.

After I went to bed and got up later, I decided I’d go to the temple. Or more accurately, I had decided a couple of days ago that I would go, and this would be it. Today though, would be a new adventure … instead of going at *night* when it was always busy, I was going to go in the *afternoon*! Hark! My goal was to get in and out as soon as possible, because nothing says godly covenants quite like cramming it between errands such as getting milk and buying jeans.

I actually had two packages coming today, though, not just one. I had ordered a season of a new show I’m watching (I’m going to avoid the multimedia overload here and intentionally *not* say which show it was, take that!), and I had already gotten a confirmation that it’d be coming today as well.

Now, some people talk about having a sixth sense. Like you know if your baby needs you, or if your dog is about to pee on your carpet. Mine is knowing that the Amazon delivery guy is near. And I’m not talking about looking at your phone for notifications, either. I can just *feel* it. Some people have experiences where they transcend body and mind and make connections with other things in the universe. Mine is with some dude I’ve never met in real life driving an unmarked van. I honestly can tell when it’s his steps coming up to my apartment floor, I’m so keen on this connection. I’ve thought about making him some cookies, but I figure he’s suffered enough since I live on the third floor and sometimes I have stuff delivered three times in one week.

So I got a notification for the TV show series that they were on their way — that’s one package. The second package though, the Blu-ray drive, I hadn’t gotten any notifications other than the order had been placed. No arrival at the packaging facility, no out for delivery, nothing. My cosmic connection was telling me that my chances were dim that it was actually going to come today at all. I was kinda bummed. My spiritual connection was bugging me to remember I had planned on going to the temple, though, so I best be out and about doing that.

I started getting ready to head out by doing the important things like showering and shaving, and the secondary important things as well such as making instant pasta in my microwave and watching an episode or two of the series I was currently binging. If my package just so happened to show up while I was “preparing” then that would be a miracle, right? Sometimes God needs a little help with that stuff, and I’m always happy to do my part.

My inner tingling went off and I knew the Amazon guy was near. I let a hallow silence overcome my apartment as he approached, both in serenity and also hoping he won’t knock and wait for me to answer the door since some relationships are better left unexplored. Doorbell rang, I waited for him to clomp away, then did my best “Oh, did I hear the doorbell riiiiiiiinggggg” fake experience and opened the door and to my “surprise” found a package there. I should earn an Oscar for that performance.

I unceremoniously tossed the package up on my desk and went back to getting ready. For all my impatience, you’d think I’d care more when it actually came. It’s the waiting I hate, though, not the actual getting something. Before I was about to leave though, I decided to open it up just to look at it. I grabbed the nearest sharp object to open the package, which happened to be the screwdriver I used last night to rip out my optical drive of my laptop. Again, for someone so into the experience of getting something new, I had an odd way of caring whether I jam it with holes or not.

There was a slight problem. And in my experience, slight problems are severe threats to my laziness. Behold. I ordered the wrong thing. I got the show on *DVD* instead of *Blu-ray*. Big oof. My day was now slightly ruined by the fact that I got it on the wrong medium. Oh, well. There’s a temple session to be had, no time to worry about that.

I grabbed the names I downloaded off the Family Search website of the other Dibbs and put it on my phone, and tromped off to my car. When I got there, I went to their office to print the ordinance cards for the names I had (I don’t have a printer at home, which is odd, considering the amazing purchase adventure that’d be). Some older couple was there at the office as well, the husband was talking about how he had lost his Family Search password, and couldn’t get his family’s names printed. I rolled my eyes (but silently, to be polite). Your problems are no concern to me, old man, I could be missing a delivered package right now! I have to get in and out! While one office worker went off to find someone who could help him, another one printed off my cards and handed them to me. I wandered off, feeling a little bad for feeling so snotty, but shifted to curiosity wondering how the church would handle something like that since it was temple names they were trying to access. Good question.

Another glorious method I’d come up with when going to the temple to do ordinance work is to take only three names when doing baptisms or initiatories. If you show up without any family names, they will give you a set of five to do, and that obviously takes a lot more time than doing three does. Sometimes if they see you doing less, they’ll ask you if you mind slipping in more so you can round out the set. I’d already practiced in my head what I’d say if they asked me something like that in my case, and I’d turn it down politely as if a sandwich artist asked if I’d like more mustard. “No, no, I’m sorry but I can’t today.” I could win another Oscar for that.

That didn’t happen today, though. I had my three names and got through there rather quickly. All three of the names I had brought in today were ancestors, fellow Dibbs, and it’s honestly always cool to be able to do work for someone who has the same last name. It creates more a sense of connection it feels like sometimes. I mean, I’ve looked up lots of family names before and they don’t always have the same surname from my father’s and grandfather’s side, but for those that do, it seems to make it more real sometimes. So I did get a glimpse of an eternal connection there today, as I was hoping that they were happy that the work was being done for them.

There was something interesting on all their cards though. Each one of the three had had the baptisms and the confirmations done on separate days. And I don’t mean the next day. The one I was looking at was almost a year apart. And they both happened 12 years ago. I started thinking a little bit about what it must be like to be wait that long for something. I couldn’t wait an entire day for something to come, but these guys had to wait for years for the proxy work to be done for them. I realize that time surely must exist differently in the post-mortal spirit world, but .. there’s still a *wait*. I don’t know how I’d do if I were the one standing around waiting so long for something to be done … especially something far more important. I’ll admit I felt a bit of shame, but more a good sense of perspective. I started wondering a bit about how much time it’d take me to go through all the family names I have reserved right now, and get all their baptisms, confirmations, and initiatories done. If I went to the temple super early in the morning, and burned through five in one day, I could probably have them all done in two to three weeks. And since each temple visit when there would be nobody there would be really fast — say two hours max — it was not a lot of time. Say what you will about impatience, but it can have the positive effect of teaching us how to manage time.

I’d like to say I came to some glorious resolution right then and there while in the temple doing the work for them that I’d resolve to do better and go and actually *do* all those temple names at five in the morning for the next few weeks. Who needs sleep when this is eternal salvation we’re talking about? Heck yah! Sign me up!

Except it didn’t happen. I dwelt on the thought for a little bit, and eventually settled on the understanding that this stuff is important, and that grew in me a bit more.

I also wish I could say that it cured me of my rampant consumerist lifestyle, but that didn’t happen either. Halfway to my car while walking out to the car I was already checking my phone, and I did get a notification that my second package was out for delivery. Success! Kind of.

I left the temple with a bit more perspective on things, on how I have to wait for what I want … whether I want to or not. Hopefully in the afterlife when I meet these people I did their work for, they won’t do something sassy like show up with a package when I see them. Although to be fair, I couldn’t really blame them.

The work is important though, and it’s interesting how it really doesn’t take a lot of time — our time, my time, whatever. In one afternoon, while waiting for something on my own, I can do some temple work for someone who’s been waiting for years. There’s no telling how they’ve felt in that time for someone to finally get around to doing the work for them. I’m glad I could participate though, even if I was a little rushed and semi-selfish about the whole thing.

There’s a part two to this whole story, with the mall, the movies, and the guy who knows presumably less and does more. Another time though! Hopefully I’ll get to it within the next few years.

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